Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
