she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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