there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
