I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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