Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
