absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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