I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
