I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
