i would punch a child for taco bell
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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