Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
