I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
