Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
