My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
