You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
