She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
