but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
