Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
