is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
