He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
