is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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