What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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