Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She said her name was "party"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
