let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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