C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
