If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
