my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
