Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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