i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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