i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
