yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
