I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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