I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
