i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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