They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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