I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
