i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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