i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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