Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
