I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
