the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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