Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
