Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
