Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
