if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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