Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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