Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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