i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
