just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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