do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize