At least make sure they are 18
Why
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
