Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
handjob tips. give me some.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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